I am thankful for....

In honor of Thanksgiving yesterday, I thought it would be appropriate to share some of the things I am thankful for:

• New Life Covenant and the friends I am able to celebrate Thanksgiving with.

• My friends and family back home who wrap their arms around me with love, prayer, and support.

• The children in my neighborhood. The joy I find in their laughter -- the moments I am able to spend with them.

• The relationships I have in this neighborhood. Miss Paige, Mary, Mama Liz, Miss. Vernistine, Jarrod, Gladys, Steve, Libby, Billie, and the many others.
  

• My team. I'm thankful for their support. I'm thankful I get to share this journey with them.

• Our home. I'm thankful people feel welcomed here. I am thankful we are able to show hospitality.

• The journey God has taken me. I live a full life. For this I am grateful.

*Enjoy the pictures from my Thanksgiving lunch with my church family.

Life of the Beloved

I am currently reading Life of the Beloved by Henri Nowen. Oh this book has been good for my soul. It has been challenging and uplifting. There is a part in this book that I want to share with you about gratitude. Henri Nowen writes,

" We are God's chosen ones, even when our world does not choose us. You have to celebrate your chosennes constantly. This means saying 'thank you' to God for having chosen you, and 'thank you' to all who remind you of your chosenness. Gratitude is the most fruitful way of deepening your consciousness that you are not an 'accident,' but a divine choice. It is important to realize how often we have had chances to be grateful and have not used them. When someone is kind to us, when an event turns out well, when a problem is solved, a relationship restored, a wound healed, there are very concrete reasons to offer thanks: be it with words, with flowers, with a letter, a card, a phone call, or just a gesture of affection. However, precisely the same situations also offer us occasions to be critical, skeptical, even cynical because, when someone is kind to us, we can question his or her motives; when an event turns out well, it could always have turned out better; when a problem is solved, there often emerges another it its place; when a relationship is restored, there is always the question: 'For how long?'; when a wound is healed, there can be some leftover pain.... Where there is reason for gratitude, there can always be found a reason for bitterness. It is here that we are faced with the freedom to make a decision. WE decide to be grateful or bitter....when we keep claiming the light, we will find ourselves becoming more and more radiant"

I was convicted as I read this part of the book. How often do I choose bitterness over gratitude? How often do I miss out on giving thanks to God, because I have bitterness in my heart? What are you going to choose today? Let it be gratitude. Let your gratitude be a celebration of who God made you. Let your gratitude be a celebration of your chosenness.

A Time for Everything

Ecclesiastes 3 talks about how there is a time for everything. Verse 4 reads, "a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance". Yesterday was a time of tears for me as I wept for a child in our neighborhood.

It was the young boy I tutor. His laugh and smile light up a room. But yesterday as he came to SAY Y.E.S! anger ran deep. There is so much that goes on in his life. So much I don't know. So much he cannot express. As his anger exploded he began to kick walls, throw chairs and his snack, he wrestled within my grip and I couldn't restrain him. J is broken and hurting.

As Steve went to get his grandmother, J was finally able to calm down. As he ate his snack he started to cry. In this moment he told me he was beat up on the bus. His stomach, private parts, and nose were punched. I was frustrated as I listened to him. My whole being wanted to believe him, but J has lied to me on several occasions. What is the truth? What is the source of this deep deep anger? As J left SAY Y.E.S! all I could do was cry.

Please pray for J. Pray that he will find a way to express his feelings. Pray for love and consistency in his life. Pray for wisdom for me as I tutor him. Pray for a surpassing peace in his life.

Solitude

Two Fridays ago I had the opportunity to go on a solitude retreat with the rest of Mission Year Atlanta. We spent the evening in a cottage at a state park and I was able to find rest in the midst of nature. I was surrounded by beautiful trees, the fall crisp air, and a shimmering lake. In this time of solitude God met me where I needed him to.

During our first solitude session I found a spot down by the lake. The sun was shining brightly so I closed my eyes and just listened. In this moment I realized there was so much life in the midst of the stillness. I found God in the breeze, in the intricate details of a spider web, and in the beauty of the trees. I saw God's movement around me. In my normal day to day I so easily miss the way God moves. Instead of saying I need to bring God into the busyness of my life, I need to recognize that He is already there. I become so focused on me, my schedule, and what is next that I miss the gentle breeze that surrounds me.

As I entered into this retreat I expected to struggle in my nothingness, but instead I was able to dwell in my belovedness. God calls me his beloved. God relates to me as His beloved. I was able to sit and allow my heart to dwell on the words, "You are my beloved, on you may favor rests." As I allow myself to become God's beloved I will continue to find my true self. As I discover my identity in Christ, my striving for perfection and my desire to be esteemed by others will come to an end.

God is teaching me many things about who I am and my beliefs. It is painful and hard at times, but is also beautiful. It is a journey I must take.