Jesus Loves the Little Children.

At church this last Sunday we sang the song, "Indescribable" The chorus as I'm sure most of you are familiar with goes like this:

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

Later Sunday afternoon, Jarrod showed up at my door. As he worked on our Harry Potter puzzle he began to sing this song. The words are a bit off, but to hear him worship God in this sweet and pure way was a gift to my heart.

As I sat and listened to Jarrod sing I couldn't help but think of the passage in Mark.

¹³ People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. ¹⁴ When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. ¹⁵ Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” ¹⁶ And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.

Springtime Jesus

I'd like to share a poem that has meant a lot to me these past weeks. I think it is a perfect time to share it as we have entered into spring season.

Springtime Jesus

You, Springtime Jesus,
just as I'd settled down for winter,
you broke into my heart
and danced your love right across it
in a mad excess of giving.
Just as I'd got comfortable
with bare branches and unfeeling,
just as my world was neatly black and white,
there you were,
kicking up flowers
all over the place.
Springtime Jesus,
I tried to find a way to tell you
that there were places
where you could or could not dance.
I wanted to guide you on my paths
and have you sign the visitors' book;
but you laughed right through my words
and sang to me your melting song,
causing sap to fire the branches,
causing the flames of buds
to flicker into green bonfires,
causing a windquake of blossom,
causing burstings, searings, breakings,
causing growth-pain,
causing life.

Springtime Jesus,
the fullness of life can be frightening
and I'm lacking in courage.
It isn't easy to live with a heart
that's wide open to invasion.
Teach me, Jesus, how to move with you,
step for step, in you love dance.
Touch my fears with your melting song.
Gift me with your laughter,
and, in the mystery of your Springtime,
show me the truth of the blossoming Cross.

I love this poem. I am so thankful God has broken into my heart, even into the places I try to seal off tightly. Mission Year has been a growing year for me, and parts have been really painful. But all of this growth has made me more alive.

A Time of Trials...A Time of Growth....A Time of Hope.

It was Thursday morning. A week before I would fly home for Spring Break. Three of my team members decided to leave Mission Year, Tyler and I, our neighborhood, and our church.

The decisions were sudden, unexpected, and hurtful. So many people were hurt by these actions. While my teammates were enjoying the comforts of home with friends and family, Tyler and I picked up the broken pieces. I sat with a good friend and neighbor on our couch and comforted him through his sobs. I told the kids they tutored goodbye for them. I watched how their absences affected church members, neighbors, kids, and other Mission Year teams and staff members.

Anger, pain, and hurt have been a big part of my life these last weeks, but I have also found a lot of hope.

I cling onto God's faithfulness and love. I find hope in the fact that these attributes never change. They are constant as we live through difficult and joyful journeys.

I also find hope in my greater community. I have been so encouraged and supported by the people who attend New Life Covenant. They helped Tyler and I pull off our fundraiser ( a huge success! More details to come). In the midst of the brokenness in my teams community, our church family demonstrates what true community is.

I've been thinking a lot about what life is going to look like when I return to Atlanta. It will be completely different from what I have known. Life with two people looks totally different. Our activities, outreach, hospitality meals, and evenings in will be unlike the last two trimesters.

No more Settlers of Catan, floor pillow fights with Josh, team dance parties after trainings, squishing in the back seat of the car, meals shared together, walks to the corner store to buy

sunflower seeds and Arizona's, or being told I look like a peacock. These are bittersweet memories for me right now as I mourn the loss of my teammates.

I am still grieving. I am still hurt, and at times angry.

I also have a lot of hope. Change is hard, but it can be oh so beautiful. We will find a new rhythm to life. Relationships will continue to grow deeper, more memories will be made, and summer is on the horizon.

This is the last picture our team took together before Janelle, Josh, and Colyn decided to leave.

Laughter

“A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around" Carolyn Birmingham.

I was looking through some old photos that were taken at Twin Rocks. I came across a series of laughing pictures that were taken. As I looked through them my heart was encouraged.

Laughter is so sweet. Laughter can be healing. Laughter creates memories that are reminisced about for years. Laughter makes me feel alive. May you find joy and laughter in your day.

Spring is Here!

We celebrated the first day of spring by going out to Rita's for some free ice-cream! We were able to bring Mary and Jarrod along with us (Jarrod was visiting for the weekend). It was a great afternoon spent with friends. Small outings like these are memories I will treasure.

Ice-Cream on a Cold Day

Since Jarrod no longer attends S.A.Y. Yes! (read about it in the following blog) I am now able to tutor Mary at the church. God answered my prayer in a way I did not expect. Even though this transition has been painful and hard at times I am thankful for it. S.A.Y. Yes! is a place where Mary needs to be. God is at work in her life.

Mary has started to bloom. Her smile radiates in the couple of hours she is at the church. I hear laughter and I watch her play with the other girls. I saw confidence in her body language as a boy told her she looked beautiful. This is an encouraging place for her to grow socially and academically.

One cold afternoon as I was walking Mary home from S.A.Y Yes! Mary asked me out of the blue if I liked ice-cream. Of course! We started to talk about our favorite flavors and how we would have to go out for ice-cream sometime soon. Mary invited me into her apartment with a huge smile on her face. We walked into her small kitchen and Mary went straight to the freezer and gave me an ice-cream bar. She was so excited and giddy about this gesture of generosity. I gladly received the ice-cream and was richly blessed by Mary's love.

As I write this post it is a Sunday afternoon. Normally each Sunday I walk down to Mary's apartment and pick her up for church. Today I wasn't feeling well so I called Mary to tell her I wouldn't be able to pick her up. I went back to bed and later I woke up to a letter a housemate slid under my door. It was from Mary and it said:

Ms. Katheren,

I do not know how to spell your name but I hope you feel better and we can go to church next Sunday. Ok and see you tomorrow at say yes. :) Love you!!!

Oh my, my relationship with Mary means so much to me. I am so thankful for this year where I have been able to mentor and build a relationship with such a sweet girl.

A Hard Day

Jarrod.

One of my favorite kids.

I tutor him everyday at S.A.Y. Yes!

His smile lights up a room.

I receive running hugs from him.

I have watched the way he has grown since August.

I was gone for a seminary retreat in Nashville, Tennessee this last week. When I returned back to English Avenue I learned that Jarrod moved back with his mom. He no longer lives in our neighborhood. My heart broke. I was looking forward to sharing a meal with him on Saturday night. Instead I saw the requested spaghetti, green beans, and key lime pie sitting on our counter untouched. This was his reward for improving his grades at school. When I asked him what he would like to do Jarrod's response was to eat dinner at our house. Precious answer.

I am trusting. Trusting that this is where Jarrod needs to be right now. I am trusting that he is receiving the care, attention, and love he needs. I am trusting that he will discover what it means to be a good friend and to have good friends at school. I am trusting that there will be people in Decatur who will mentor him.

I look forward to Jarrod's visits in English Ave. I don't know when they will be or for how long.

In the meantime I will hold onto many of the sweet memories I have with Jarrod.

*Jarrod wrote me a card. Inside it said, "Mary was a good mom, you might be one too."

*The flower he shyly brought to our house for me.

*Pretending to be chased by aliens and wild wolves on our walks home from S.A.Y. Yes!

*Conversations like the following:
Jarrod: Miss Katherine, aren't you going home in February?
Me: Why would I go home?
Jarrod: For Valentine's Day.
Me: But that means I wouldn't be able to spend it with you.
Jarrod: Oh, good point.

and...
Me:Pluto is now called a dwarf planet.
Jarrod: Is that because dwarfs live there?

and...
Jarrod: Miss Katherine, normally I would run away from you, but today I am going to be good and walk with you.

*Today is a hard day. My first day of S.A.Y. Yes! without Jarrod. I pray that wherever he is, Jarrod feels loved and cared for and that others can enjoy his sweet laughter and loving smile.