Springtime Jesus

I'd like to share a poem that has meant a lot to me these past weeks. I think it is a perfect time to share it as we have entered into spring season.

Springtime Jesus

You, Springtime Jesus,
just as I'd settled down for winter,
you broke into my heart
and danced your love right across it
in a mad excess of giving.
Just as I'd got comfortable
with bare branches and unfeeling,
just as my world was neatly black and white,
there you were,
kicking up flowers
all over the place.
Springtime Jesus,
I tried to find a way to tell you
that there were places
where you could or could not dance.
I wanted to guide you on my paths
and have you sign the visitors' book;
but you laughed right through my words
and sang to me your melting song,
causing sap to fire the branches,
causing the flames of buds
to flicker into green bonfires,
causing a windquake of blossom,
causing burstings, searings, breakings,
causing growth-pain,
causing life.

Springtime Jesus,
the fullness of life can be frightening
and I'm lacking in courage.
It isn't easy to live with a heart
that's wide open to invasion.
Teach me, Jesus, how to move with you,
step for step, in you love dance.
Touch my fears with your melting song.
Gift me with your laughter,
and, in the mystery of your Springtime,
show me the truth of the blossoming Cross.

I love this poem. I am so thankful God has broken into my heart, even into the places I try to seal off tightly. Mission Year has been a growing year for me, and parts have been really painful. But all of this growth has made me more alive.

A Time of Trials...A Time of Growth....A Time of Hope.

It was Thursday morning. A week before I would fly home for Spring Break. Three of my team members decided to leave Mission Year, Tyler and I, our neighborhood, and our church.

The decisions were sudden, unexpected, and hurtful. So many people were hurt by these actions. While my teammates were enjoying the comforts of home with friends and family, Tyler and I picked up the broken pieces. I sat with a good friend and neighbor on our couch and comforted him through his sobs. I told the kids they tutored goodbye for them. I watched how their absences affected church members, neighbors, kids, and other Mission Year teams and staff members.

Anger, pain, and hurt have been a big part of my life these last weeks, but I have also found a lot of hope.

I cling onto God's faithfulness and love. I find hope in the fact that these attributes never change. They are constant as we live through difficult and joyful journeys.

I also find hope in my greater community. I have been so encouraged and supported by the people who attend New Life Covenant. They helped Tyler and I pull off our fundraiser ( a huge success! More details to come). In the midst of the brokenness in my teams community, our church family demonstrates what true community is.

I've been thinking a lot about what life is going to look like when I return to Atlanta. It will be completely different from what I have known. Life with two people looks totally different. Our activities, outreach, hospitality meals, and evenings in will be unlike the last two trimesters.

No more Settlers of Catan, floor pillow fights with Josh, team dance parties after trainings, squishing in the back seat of the car, meals shared together, walks to the corner store to buy

sunflower seeds and Arizona's, or being told I look like a peacock. These are bittersweet memories for me right now as I mourn the loss of my teammates.

I am still grieving. I am still hurt, and at times angry.

I also have a lot of hope. Change is hard, but it can be oh so beautiful. We will find a new rhythm to life. Relationships will continue to grow deeper, more memories will be made, and summer is on the horizon.

This is the last picture our team took together before Janelle, Josh, and Colyn decided to leave.

Laughter

“A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around" Carolyn Birmingham.

I was looking through some old photos that were taken at Twin Rocks. I came across a series of laughing pictures that were taken. As I looked through them my heart was encouraged.

Laughter is so sweet. Laughter can be healing. Laughter creates memories that are reminisced about for years. Laughter makes me feel alive. May you find joy and laughter in your day.